Smolder

Smolder is an earlier work that has already found its forever home in Canada. 

I painted this while I was still married and just new to creating art again. After a period of years without creating anything and feeling like I'd lost myself in a 'partnership' that was slowly eating me alive. After being a life long artist up until that point. After nearly leaving this world on purpose. After realizing I was absolutely miserable and something needed to change. After I realized that art was what I was truly passionate about.

This was when the anger really started to 'smolder' within me and it was finally burning hotter than the pain, hopelessness, and depression. I was painting over an older painting and playing with the inevitable texture that comes with layers of dried acrylic strokes. That was quite fitting as I was trying to paint over the life that I had found myself in that didn't serve me anymore. That's if it ever really did...

I was fighting with the opacity limitations on the yellow and honestly, unable to portray the picture I actually had in my head the entire time purely because I just didn't have the technical skills yet. That didn't stop me though. I wasn't particularly proud of this painting but I've always created out of a necessity more than a whimsy so it hadn't bothered me if nobody enjoyed it. It was one of my first deep dives into pure abstraction while painting. It was actually one of my first 'real' sales, to my surprise. It kind of kick started this whole thing right now. My first lesson in how every piece of work has the right person, waiting for it somewhere. There would be many more after as well and I am feeling very grateful for this journey.